The first drink rarely feels dangerous. It loosens conversation, softens anxiety, and convinces the brain that everything is lighter. Yet beneath that pleasant buzz, alcohol is already rewriting the brain’s chemistry; slowing judgment, dulling memory, and teaching the mind to crave what initially felt like relief. Long before liver disease becomes visible, the brain has all along been carrying the hidden cost of drinking.

Addiction counsellor Chris Githae, a former alcohol addict who went to rehab multiple times before eventually kicking the habit a decade ago, describes the relentless mental churn of alcoholism.

“The human brain favours the familiar over the unfamiliar. I remember when I was in addiction, my mind was ever busy, with so many thoughts. No one is busier than an alcoholic. As soon as you wake up with a hangover, the brain is already thinking of how to ‘remove the lock.’ What can you sell, the mess you made yesterday, who you insulted, who you fought with...You are thinking: which nearby bar should I check out, what debts do I have in the other bars? What lie will I tell today at work, who will I lie to get money?”

For many, alcohol becomes the depressant that quiets this chaos. Yet the relief is temporary, and the cycle of craving and regret deepens. At some point, sobriety itself can feel alien.

Nacada’s latest national survey reveals that approximately one in every six Kenyans aged 15 to 65 years uses alcohol or another drug.

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“Let’s say you quit alcohol for one week or two months and you’re from rehab. The feeling is so good. You wake up feeling relaxed. You know where you are, where your phone is, where your belongings are. There is calmness and serenity. But your brain is not used to that. You are used to chaos, so you even start doubting yourself. That’s when relapse happens, because things feel too good to be true.”

Addiction counsellor Julie Ndung’u explains the neurochemistry behind this cycle.

Read: The awakening that broke an 18-year chain of alcohol addiction

“When someone drinks alcohol, it floods the brain with dopamine in the reward system. You feel relaxed and euphoric. With repeated drinking, however, the brain begins to adapt. It produces less dopamine on its own and becomes less sensitive to it. This means a person may need more alcohol to experience the same feeling, while ordinary pleasures can begin to feel less satisfying.”

Research from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in the United States confirms this. Alcohol weakens the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and impulse control. Over time, motivation shifts from wanting to drink to needing to drink to feel normal. This gradual rewiring explains why social drinking can evolve into dependence without clear warning signs.

According to Ndung’u, the journey into alcohol dependence can unfold slowly or accelerate quickly, but it often follows a recognisable arc. It begins with experimentation, which is the occasional drinking with friends, usually framed as harmless fun. Over time, this can slip into the risk stage, where drinking becomes more frequent, sometimes alone, and the first consequences, often strained relationships and missed responsibilities, start to creep in. Eventually, the pattern hardens into dependence, where tolerance builds, withdrawal symptoms appear, and alcohol shifts from being a choice to becoming central to daily functioning.

Ndung’u emphasises that while the pace may differ from person to person, the underlying progression is strikingly similar. What begins as social indulgence can, through repetition and brain adaptation, evolve into a cycle where drinking is no longer about pleasure but about survival, an attempt to feel “normal” in a mind that has been rewired by alcohol.

Drunk — Alcohol remains the most abused substance, with alarming rates of early initiation.

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Problematic drinking often becomes evident long before a person considers themselves addicted. Ndung’u points out that the earliest signs are often behavioural. A person may find themselves thinking about drinking frequently, planning social or personal activities around alcohol, drinking faster or in greater amounts than intended, or becoming irritable when they cannot drink. These subtle shifts mark the brain’s growing preoccupation with alcohol.

There are also physical cues. Tolerance, which is needing more alcohol to achieve the same buzz, is one of the clearest indicators. Frequent hangovers, poor sleep, or even mild tremors can signal that the body is adapting to regular intake. Ndung’u cautions that even weekend-only drinking can become problematic if it leads to blackouts, strained relationships, or consequences at work. In other words, the line between “social drinking” and dependency is often crossed quietly, without the drinker realising how much the brain has already changed.

When help becomes necessary

At some point, managing the problem alone may no longer be enough. Ndung’u warns that there are clear red flags when alcohol use has crossed into dangerous territory. A person may find themselves repeatedly failing to cut down despite good intentions, battling strong cravings that are difficult to resist, or experiencing withdrawal symptoms such as shaking, sweating, nausea, or anxiety when they try to stop. Other warning signs include continuing to drink despite health, work, or family problems, suffering blackouts, hiding alcohol, or even selling possessions to fund drinking. Her advice is unequivocal: “If any of these are present, talk to an addiction professional.”

Read: One too many: Why alcohol hits lightweights harder than others

Recognising the need for help is only the first step, but how that help is sought matters just as much.

For those already physically dependent, the process of stopping can carry its own risks, sometimes severe and even life-threatening.

“Stopping abruptly can be dangerous for those physically dependent. Severe withdrawal can include seizures, which may be fatal. Medical supervision is essential, especially for heavy daily drinkers or those with co-existing medical conditions,” says Chris Githae.

Chrispus Githae Kimaru poses during an interview at Nation Centre, Nairobi in 2022

Photo credit: Francis Nderitu | Nation Media Group

“Don’t detox alone; seek a hospital or addiction clinic,” Ndung’u warns.

For social drinkers, boundaries can help prevent escalation. One is advised to schedule alcohol-free days, avoid drinking alone, eat before drinking and alternate alcohol with water. Keep drinking social, not secret, and resist peer pressure to keep up with others.

For anyone quietly doubting their drinking, Mr Githae offers a simple question, “Can I enjoy an event without alcohol?” If the answer is no, he says, that’s a warning sign.

Functional alcoholics

Studies on people with alcohol use disorders (AUD) reveal that some manage to keep jobs and fulfil parental roles, often described as “functional alcoholics.” They may appear reliable at work and provide for their families, but the effort is sustained through denial, secrecy, and coping mechanisms that mask the underlying problem. Research highlights that while employment can provide structure and financial stability, alcohol misuse often erodes productivity, increases absenteeism, and heightens emotional stress in the workplace.

At home, children of parents with alcohol problems frequently experience adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) such as emotional neglect, secrecy, and role reversal, where children take on adult responsibilities. Yet, paradoxically, these environments can also foster resilience, empathy, and conflict management skills in children. The dual impact means that while a parent may “hold it together” professionally and domestically, the hidden emotional toll on children is significant and long-lasting.

“You may see someone showing up at work daily and even excelling at their tasks, but you don’t know the impact his or her drinking has on their finances. You may see someone who is always shining at work despite drinking very heavily, but you may not see the impact his drinking has on his or her family, or on his health,” says counsellor Githae.

Data from research conducted in Kenya and published on ScienceDirect in December 2021 underscores that sobriety dramatically improves family well-being. Fathers engaged in alcohol misuse interventions reported that their children were visibly happier and more secure when they were sober. This suggests that while an alcoholic parent may still raise children and keep a job, the quality of family life is compromised, often with instability, strained relationships, and emotional distance becoming common. The longer alcohol dependence persists, the greater the risk of damaging both professional standing and children’s emotional development.

Read: From the bottle to the battlefield: How a KDF soldier won his war against addiction

“In short, functioning as a worker and parent while battling alcoholism is possible, but it is not sustainable,” Githae says. The façade of normalcy often conceals deep fractures in family relationships and workplace performance.

While an alcoholic parent may still raise children and keep a job, the quality of family life is compromised.

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For those in recovery, Julie Ndung’u points to the acronym HALT—Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired—as a simple but powerful reminder of conditions most likely to trigger relapse. Each of these conditions can weaken resolve and make alcohol feel like the quickest solution. Recognising them early allows a person to pause and avoid slipping back into old patterns.

“Let’s say you quit alcohol for one week or two weeks or two months and you’re from rehab. Even when your wife says you are looking good, you don’t believe it, because it is unfamiliar. So even when something small happens, maybe your spouse or employer speaks rudely to you, you want to go back to the bottle.

“So it is Thursday, you haven’t drunk since Monday, and you’ve been feeling good, going to work on time and not smelling of booze. But then Friday comes, and you start wondering, so this weekend, what will I be doing? I stay at home with the children? And maybe your friends are going on a road trip or bender…already your brain is pushing you towards the former life. You want the chaos. And when you indulge, Saturday will find you drinking; same for Sunday. So Monday you wake up with a lot of guilt. Perhaps you may take a sick day off because you are very high, and the whole sobriety thing is forgotten for a few months. And then you try again and again,” says Chris Githae.

But relapse is not only about internal states. External factors such as places, people, and celebrations can reignite cravings just as strongly.“ You must avoid the PPTs,” Mr Githae says, referring to People, Places and Things. “A familiar bar, a group of drinking friends, or even a festive occasion can stir memories of past behaviour. For someone in recovery, these triggers can increase anxiety and remind them just how closely alcohol is tied to their identity and routine.”

Mr Githae cautions against overconfidence after an alcoholic manages to stay sober for a while.

“Feeling cured can lead to risky decisions, such as testing limits or re-entering old environments.” Sustaining sobriety, Githae emphasises, is less about willpower alone and more about vigilance. Knowing one’s vulnerabilities, setting boundaries, and building support systems make recovery not just possible, but durable.

Both counsellors emphasise that addiction is not a moral failure. “It is a learned brain change combined with a coping pattern. Treatment works by retraining those systems with support, skills, and sometimes medical care.”

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eintabo@ke.nationmedia.com, COlilo@ke.nationmedia.com