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My first lesson about phone etiquette came from my mother. I was 17 years old. I had my phone on my ear, calling someone who was not picking. It was after 9pm. The lesson was that I should not call people who are older than me after 8pm, except if I had a real emergency.
Although I am now an adult who does not take phone instructions from my mother, I do not call people after 8pm except when it is an emergency connected to work, or I am speaking to a close friend, or family.
Beyond just looking at the clock before calling, it became a lesson of consideration and respect. The other lessons I have learned about using my phone have built on that, such as, instead of leaving someone with 16 missed calls, leave a message after the first call goes unanswered. However, two recent incidents had me questioning whether respect is still a thing in phone engagements.
Read: Phone etiquette tips to help you seal deals
I got a WhatsApp message from a strange number. She introduced herself with one name, and then went ahead to mention the person who had given her my contact, again using one name. Her message asked when I would be available for a phone call. I had no idea who she was or why she was texting me because her message did not have an introduction. The message gave the impression that I was in touch with whoever had given her my phone number, and I was fully briefed about the phone call we were to have. I texted back to say I had no idea what the phone call was about.
She texted me an overview of what she wanted us to talk about. Besides the fact that I was dealing with many moving parts at work, whatever she needed was completely out of my scope. I apologised and said I was not able to get on a call with her that afternoon. Her response was unexpected, “Do you work in the media?” I left it on ‘read’. I found it interesting that she had not done the most basic research about the person she was reaching out to.
I thought I had seen it all until the colleague I went to share this episode with turned out to have been going through her own version, which was worse. She was dealing with a rude caller who had decided that she did not even need to introduce herself properly because whoever had given her my colleague’s number was a ‘big shot’ in their industry.