Silent survivors: The hidden violence men endure at home

Daniel Kairithia endured what he describes as years of emotional torture in silence. It took a blow to the head with a piece of wood and weeks in hospital before his story became public, and even then, it was an activist, not Kairithia himself, who spoke out first.

His story is one of many now emerging from a country only beginning to talk about it: men who suffer domestic and intimate partner violence, often in silence, out of fear of stigma, ridicule, or simply not being believed.

Kairithia, a boda boda rider from Muthathene village in Igembe South, Meru County, had been married to Pamela Kangai for more than 11 years by the eve of March 24, 2026, the day he says marked a turning point in his life. What had started as occasional marital feuds escalated into a near-fatal attack.

“I had spent the fateful day at work and returned in the evening as usual. I found my wife and children in the kitchen preparing supper. She confronted me, complaining that I had not paid for her mobile phone loan. Suddenly, she hit me on the forehead with a piece of wood. I screamed and fell unconscious,