It is a Tuesday, and you are deep in your work. Then someone taps you on the back and tells you to hide under your desk. They are planning a birthday surprise for a colleague.

Later, someone pulls out a phone and starts filming. In another office, the corporate affairs team films a dancing challenge for the company's social media pages. Later that month, the same office is planning a retreat.

The intention is usually the same: bring people closer, improve morale and build a stronger team.

But what happens when the people being asked to have fun would rather not dance, perform, hug a colleague or appear on the company's social media page?

Team building can strengthen relationships at work. So where does real team building end and forced fun begin?

Grace Nzula, a HR consultant, says she has watched many companies try to bring their staff closer through games, birthday parties, dance challenges and retreats. But she has also seen how quickly these activities can go wrong, exposing differences in personality, age, religion, physical ability and personal boundaries.

She says some companies make the mistake of organising a team-building when there is conflict at work, hoping it will solve the problems.

“You cannot out-exercise a bad diet,” she says. “If you don’t have a proper work culture, if you’re not properly supporting employees, it doesn’t matter the number of team-building activities you do.”

According to the HR expert with Atarah Solutions, a firm based in Nairobi, some problems need a change in company systems, not a game of tug-of-war in Naivasha.

She says “forced fun” usually shows up when the workplace culture is already broken. “When your culture is toxic, and people don't get along, you first need to address the real issue,” she says.

She has seen offices that do not even allow staff to take proper lunch breaks, yet still expect one retreat a year to fix everything.

She shares an example of an employer who would buy the same type of cake for every staff member’s birthday. One day, someone finally asked the employees if they liked the cake. “Those cakes are lame,” one worker said. “First of all, I’m gluten intolerant. You buying me a cake means I can’t eat it.”

Another worker said being forced to celebrate with colleagues who only clap for them in public but talk badly about them behind their backs felt worse than not celebrating at all.

Another concern is time wastage. Yes, the social media team or corporate affairs are doing their job, but aren’t they disturbing others?

“Employees can’t meet a deadline because you guys were recording a TikTok video,” she says. “Everything must be done in moderation.”

Ms Nzula adds that employee engagement should be a continuous activity to motivate staff, not a once-a-year event. HR should also ensure there is a balance; otherwise, it can quietly turn into an entitlement.

She remembers companies that used to hold pizza Fridays until money became tight. “Employees almost went on a strike,” she says.

She explains how a good HR department fixes such concerns. The best organisations let employees suggest their own activities. Some offices go bowling on the last Friday of the month. Others prefer a hike at Karura Forest, a quiz night, a talent show, or simply pizza and music in the boardroom.

When it comes to physical games like carrying colleagues, sack races or running around during retreats, she says the planner must know their audience well. She recalls a retreat where two directors could not join certain games because they had recently had knee surgery.

Right to opt out

Workers should also be allowed to opt out of anything that feels wrong for them. “You have somebody who is religious, and you want them to twerk,” she says, giving an example of how mismatched an activity can be with a person's beliefs.

Recording employees for company videos should never happen without their consent. “If I do not want to appear on social media, I should not be forced,” she says, adding that this also touches on data protection rules.

Isaac Maweu, a counselling psychologist, workplace wellbeing coach and corporate trainer, explains what happens when an employee is pushed into an activity that embarrasses them.

“Embarrassment leads to a loss of esteem; one feels not respected,” he says, adding that instead of the activity bringing people together, it can push them further apart, and the resentment can follow the person long after the event is over. “This person feels like they should not be there anymore,” he says.

He gives an example of physical contact between colleagues of different genders during team-building games. If someone is not comfortable hugging a colleague, he says, they should never be forced. People enjoy different things because of their personalities, beliefs and backgrounds. He uses religion as an example.

“You can’t expect a Muslim employee to dance to haram music or a Christian to sit through a meditation session. Somethings upset the personality, behaviour, culture of a person,” he says.

Multigenerational dynamics

On the trend of companies filming employees dancing or carrying each other for social media content, Mr Maweu says companies should not be uncomfortable engaging in such activities lightly. He says workplace wellness depends heavily on how safe people feel during team building.

“The younger employees may find it fun, but older workers may have concerns about the physical closeness,” he says.
In offices with multigenerational workers, he suggests simpler alternatives like sack races or egg carrying games that do not require close physical contact.

“It doesn’t have to be activities around physical and close connection that upset someone's standard.”

There is a healthy way to push employees slightly outside their comfort zones, but it must come with caution. He gives an example of asking someone who fears public speaking to try a short challenge, followed by a proper debrief afterwards.

“How was the session? What did you like? What didn’t you like?” he says. He explains that these are the kind of questions that help a company learn and improve the next activity, instead of repeating the same mistake.

→moochieng@ke.nationmedia.com